Not sure if this is an universal phenomena, but children seem to grow up faster than their parents are willing to let go?
Well I have been struggling with this very dilemma, as my son prepares to leave for University.
Ready or not? Here they go.
So what is the issue?
There is this constant battle between parental stewardship that doesn’t want to let go, and adult responsibility that begs for rational release. I think the issue lies in over-thinking and under-trusting. More about that later.
However, these are times when parents look back to what they would have done differently. In my mind, the only two reason why we as parents may not have regrets, are either because we have not learned from past mistakes, or that we have been too arrogant to admit them. If “to err is human” then the cape of the super parents must be used to cover the face as remorse.
I don’t intend this to be a downhill, slap on the wrist article. I want to applaud parenting by contrasting the dark regrets against the brilliance of the joy and thrill of raising a child. Much like a diamond trader who places the gem against the dark black velvet to capture the nuance. The point though is that a mere human factor in the parenting mix is destined for disaster. It is like a single ingredient recipe. It doesn’t amount to much.
Are they ready?
Parents often worry that their children are yet ill-equipped to face the world.
My parents in their seventies still think so; and while I have given them enough fodder to foster that opinion the mute point is that we must accept.
Accept that they are an independent life, apart from us. That ‘my’ son is a complete human; a man, just like me. Nothing less, and hopefully more.
Accept that we are neither omniscient, nor omnipresent. We do not have all the answers, and can never be at all the places they will be.
Accept some lessons are learned by living, not telling. That they must reinvent the wheel according to their template.
Accept that we could never be perfect parents even with repeated chances.
We reined,trained, and hopefully ingrained, and neither our guilt nor their supposed inexperience must now prevent them.
Are we ready?
The question really is directed at us.
Consider how even from that first day when we brought them home from the hospital, we have only reared them trusting the good Lord for guidance and wisdom.
All of us will acknowledge freely that we are not self-made perfect parents and that it was the grace of God that allowed us to move past colicky nights, broken wrists, school reports, and nightmare-comes-true alarms.
We trusted each day for wisdom and strength. We prayed for character and personality.
Now it is time to test our faith and realize that the wings that were spun with tears and toil will hold as they begin to soar.
Let go, and Let God
It is time to let go.
It is time to know that the same God who led us through parenting will lead them through life.
Learn to let go and see them glide on the strength of answered prayers.
When we do, we will realize it was never us that ultimately held the reins, but God.
He is the one who brought them till here, and He is the one who will guide them till home.
I must remind myself of this truth everyday.